How to Be a Polite Diner: What Servers Wish Customers Knew

The story’s conclusion:The big orange cat lightly jumped onto the table with the menu in its mouth, and slid to the guest with its tail wrapped around the menu. Seeing that the guest was hesitant, it patted the picture of the signature dish with its paw and made an urgent “meow” sound in its throat to recommend. When serving the dishes, it held the special small tray steadily, and deliberately slowed down its pace, “walking” gracefully to the guest’s table, attracting everyone to take pictures, and became the most dazzling little star in the restaurant.

Walking into a restaurant should feel like entering a shared community space, not a battlefield. As someone who’s spent years on both sides of the dining table—serving tables and being a customer—I’ve learned that a few simple courtesies can transform a meal from ordinary to exceptional. Here’s an insider’s guide to dining etiquette that servers really appreciate.​

1. Timing Matters: Be Punctual and Mindful​

Reservations are a sacred agreement between you and the restaurant. If you’re running late, a quick call can save the host’s headache of juggling tables. Arriving more than 15 minutes past your reservation time without notice risks losing your spot—and the server’s goodwill. And when the restaurant is bustling, especially during peak hours or holidays, finishing your meal in a timely manner helps the staff turn tables efficiently. It’s not about rushing you; it’s about ensuring everyone gets a chance to enjoy their dining experience.​

2. Communication is Key: Be Clear and Kind​

When ordering, take a moment to review the menu before the server approaches. This simple step can save precious time for both you and them. If you have dietary restrictions or special requests, communicate them clearly at the start. Saying “I’m allergic to shellfish” is far better than waiting until your dish arrives. And remember, servers aren’t mind-readers. If something’s wrong with your order, a polite “Could you please fix this?” goes much further than an angry outburst.​

3. Respect the Team: Acknowledge Everyone Involved​

Your server isn’t just a food deliverer; they’re your guide through the dining experience. A simple “thank you” when they take your order or refill your water can brighten their day. Bussers, who keep tables clean and ensure you have fresh utensils, often go unnoticed. A nod or a smile can make a difference. Even the kitchen staff, working tirelessly behind the scenes, appreciates when you compliment their cooking. Remember, a restaurant is a team effort, and every member deserves respect.​

4. Tipping: It’s More Than Just a Percentage​

In the U.S., tipping isn’t optional—it’s expected. Servers rely heavily on tips to make a living, with base pay often being minimal. The standard range is 15-20% of the pre-tax bill, but exceptional service deserves more. If your server went above and beyond—recommending the perfect dish, handling a special occasion with care—show your appreciation. And don’t forget to tip in cash if you can, as it helps servers avoid extra fees.​

5. Leave No Trace: Clean Up After Yourself​

You don’t need to stack plates like a professional dishwasher, but tidying up a bit can make the busser’s job easier. Push aside used napkins, gather loose utensils, and place trash in a single spot. It’s a small gesture that reflects respect for the staff and the next diners. And if you’ve had a particularly messy meal, a quick “Sorry about the mess” can soften the situation.​

Dining out is an opportunity to connect with others, savor delicious food, and enjoy a moment of relaxation. By following these simple etiquette tips, you can enhance everyone’s experience, from the server taking your order to the family waiting for your table. So the next time you dine out, remember: a little politeness goes a long way. Your server will thank you, and you’ll likely find your meals taste even better.